I am trying to put the horrible experience that has been this past week behind me. Today I had to chase my insurance company (again) as I had no courtesy car and they were meant to provide one. This is when they tell me that my car will be written off so I don't get a coutesy car. I look into it and the maths don't stack up so I get back in touch. They say that they will ring me back. I end up having to chase them again. They tell me that they have lost my claim (again). I say some bad words. They find my claim and go talk to the engineer when I tell them how much it should cost and how much my car is worth (I think the repair company are inflating the price somewhat). They call back and say the locks will be changed after all but now it is too late to get me a courtesy car today.
It is not all sorted yet but hell, life is too short, I am fed up with this saga and needed a smile. I thought you might like these male/female definitions that I was sent as well :0)
You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying!
I've still got my sense of humour folks!