Thursday, March 08, 2007

Still smiling

I am trying to put the horrible experience that has been this past week behind me. Today I had to chase my insurance company (again) as I had no courtesy car and they were meant to provide one. This is when they tell me that my car will be written off so I don't get a coutesy car. I look into it and the maths don't stack up so I get back in touch. They say that they will ring me back. I end up having to chase them again. They tell me that they have lost my claim (again). I say some bad words. They find my claim and go talk to the engineer when I tell them how much it should cost and how much my car is worth (I think the repair company are inflating the price somewhat). They call back and say the locks will be changed after all but now it is too late to get me a courtesy car today.

It is not all sorted yet but hell, life is too short, I am fed up with this saga and needed a smile. I thought you might like these male/female definitions that I was sent as well :0)

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS:
These are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TYRES:
Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their arse.
SPONGES:
These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS:
Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL:
Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying!

I've still got my sense of humour folks!

26 comments:

kenju said...

It's very good that you can have a sense of humor after all that! Maybe you'll want to find a new insurance company?

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shephard said...

Agree with Kenju! A sense of humor goes a long ways, that's for sure.
Liked the m/f definitions. Clever.

~S

Chicote said...

A sense of humors the only thing that helps us from not going crazy.

Chicote

TrueJerseyGirl said...

Ha ha! Love those definitions! And love the fact that you still have your sense of humor!

Irish Church Lady :) said...

Yes you do! Those were cute and funny!

Sarch said...

Funny stuff Bobkat.

I was pleased (and flattered) that you stopped by my blog today to "scoop me in" on today's goings on.

You're in my thoughts as you wade through this mess.

I like the graphics you posted today. Where did you get the neat pic?

Dachsies Rule said...

Yes, keep smiling. Don't let the jerks win.

Roxie, Sammy & Andy

Vid Digger said...

Good that you have a sense of humor, because if it was me I'll be in jail about now.

Hi, Michele sent me!

Ps said...

Those were good.
What an insensitive insurance company. They should be taken to consumer court.(We have that in India.I dont know how it is in the UK)

Katherine said...

Oh bravo! That was fabulous. The hot air balloons were my favorite.

kenju said...

The last one is especially apropos here today, since last night, Mr. kenju messed up the remote control so badly that I am locked into one station - and that is the guide channel. Speaking of not knowing what buttons to push......

Michele sent me!

mar said...

Glad to see your sense of humor is stronger than anything else!! love the definitions, specially the egg timer, lol.
I guess it's difficult for English speaking people to figure this out but many other languages have a gender for every inanimated object as well.. the problem is, some languages got this wrong and the most clearly example is with the moon and the sun, which is sort of essential for one's existance and conception of the world...We, Spanish-speaking people call the moon a female noun (la luna) and the sun is a male noun (el sol), but the Germans got it all wrong and use the opposite articles (die Sonne-female for sun and der Mond, male for moon). I can't get over it *leaves shaking her head*

PI said...

I'm glad you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel - and it isn't just another train. I have managed - at Michele's - to get beneath three people at once including you. So exciting!

chase said...

I hate that kind of service but at least you still have your cool and I am quite impress. Anyway hope you have a nice weekend and Michele sent me!

Becky68 said...

The definitions are hilarious, I'm sorry you're having so much trouble, I agree with Kenju that your insurance company may not be the best one for you! (they should be a lot more on the ball than that)
Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

srp said...

Nice to see the sense of humor still there. Would it be possible to get another insurance? I would be shopping for a different one if mine gave me that service (or rather lack of).

chase said...

I am sent here by Michele again. SO i will just say hope you have a nice weekend!!!

Melody said...

Hehe... That was funny and so true. Glad to read you are still smiling. :)

craziequeen said...

Hey babes - can't believe they were gonna write off your car for the price of some car locks.....how daft is that......??

Michele sent me to see how things are going.......

hugs, sweetie - and love to M.

cq

Paste said...

Insurance companies - good at taking money, not so good at giving it out!
Liked your list.
Here from Michele's.

Oracle said...

Hey Bobkat,

I'm sure your weekend will have a ray of sunshine in it somewhere to lighten up your nightmare of a week,

I hope the happy fairy smiles your way this weekend have a good day ;)

& thanks for stopping by ;)

yellojkt said...

These are really funny and very true.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Dump the insurance agency and focus on the jokes. Man, those are good -- 'cause they're true!

Thanks for visiting West of Mars. Hope you'll come back again!

the fat lady said...

*(&*%^$%^ that insurance company!!! I always thought problems like this were specific to the U. S.
Another bended gender:
The INTERNET is female. It upholds the tradition "telephone, telegraph, tell a woman and the news will get around."

Carmi said...

You amaze me - in a very good way. I wish I could find the ability to smile and to make others smile when I'm otherwise challenged.

Grace under fire. That's you.