Saturday, April 25, 2009

The cat came back

The good news is that Bob is back home! My little chap is a fighter and responded well to steroids and I was able to collect him and bring him home late yesterday afternoon. I have to continue with the steroids this week and take him back at the end of next week for another blood test. Fingers crossed that he continues to respond well to the therapy.

I have been warned by the vet that even though Bob is doing so much better, that this is most likely lymphoma and seems to be the beginning of the end. Depending on the progress of the disease, and depending on Bob, he could last a few weeks, maybe shorter, maybe longer. It's hard to tell without invasive tests that I won't put him through. So the plan is to let Bob be my guide. I will respond to his needs and as long as he has quality of life then I will do everything in my power to make sure he is spoilt rotten and comfortable.

We have been together a long time and I know Bob will let me know when it's time. At the moment he is so pleased to be home. He has barely left my side and when I passed by his bed earlier today he was purring in his sleep. I am overjoyed to have him home and so glad that I didn't choose the option that is so final (which I was under pressure to do from a number of sources).

The hardest part of all of this has been having to put up with perhaps well intentioned people imposing their feelings and values on me about how I should feel. I felt like hitting a couple of people, one in particular who told me it must be easier on me as Bob was so old (Not at all, are we less upset when a loved aged relative dies or when a young person dies or is our grief linked to our love of the individual rather than chronological age?). A couple have given me the 'mad cat lady' look (I do know that my cat is not a child, but my compassion and love for something is not limited to things with two legs only) and a couple of people have even questioned my decision to try the steroids. I pose this question to them, how about if someone gave up on you if you became very ill, just because you were old? It made me angry that I was feeling completely devastated by the news and yet it felt like I had to justify my upset. So here it is: I love my cat. We have been together a long time, we have been through a lot. Bob is one in a billion and I am making the most of whatever time we have left together.

19 comments:

R. Sherman said...

I think many people feel compelled to say something -- anything -- because they feel it is required. Often, however, the best course of to provide a squeeze of the hand followed by silence.

Alas, that is not possible in blogland, so we comment instead.

Continued thoughts from us.

Cheers.

Kathryn said...

Some people just don't "get" loving pets. They may have pets themselves yet somehow never create a bond with the personalities who live with them. I don't understand it, but i know a number of people this way. It is hard when other people seem to "know" better than you. Keep following instinct.

I'm so glad to hear Bob is home. I hope things go well, & honor your confidence that he will let you know when it is time.

Still praying for you both.

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

I encountered some of those so-called Well Meaning Friends when I thought Cooper was in kidney failure. Some of them were downright insulting.

Keep your chin up and trust your gut. No one has any right to second-guess that.

Hugs from me and my own fuzzy four-leggers.

bunnygirl said...

You're entitled to feel whatever you feel, and to heck with what other people think or say.

I'm glad you've got Bob for awhile longer. Love him. He'll let you know when he's ready to go to the Bridge.

David said...

we, your friends, will leave it up to you and bob to care for each other and to know what is right. I am learning here, and I thank you for your informed point of view.

pink dogwood said...

First of all, I am so glad he his home. Forget people, just go with your gut feeling.

I have a goldfish called cheesepuffs - I have had her for 8 years. Last December she got very sick. She was laying at the bottom of the tank without moving or eating. Once every so many minutes I would think that I saw a gill move, but I wasn't sure. She stayed in that spot for 2-3 days. There are two other fishes in the tank, but they were just fine. A well meaning friend told me that I have to put an end to her misery and flush her down the toilet. But what if she is still alive I kept thinking.

Then my dad went and bought some anti-fungal tablets. we changed the water and put those tablets and said a silent prayer.

Next morning when I woke up I could not believe my eyes. Cheesepuffs was swimming around the tank. She has been fine ever since - it has been 4 months - can you imagine if I had flushed her down the toilet at that person suggested?

best wishes

Nepharia said...

I am SO glad *BobKat* is doing better. If he is like our kitties (we currently have 4!), he has his own personality and interacts with you as he would any other member of your family.

Give him a scratch, rub, and tickle from us in Texas.

kenju said...

Do not worry one bit about what other people think. Love Bob until the end and do not resist spoiling him!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

I don't know how I missed these posts about your dear dear Bob...! My heart goes out to you, my dear. I know what he means to you and what an important and huge part of yout life he is, every day and night, and for all these many years! I am so sorry to read of this situation, my dear.....When you have such a close relationship with an animal---particularly a cat, though I know it is really no different with any dear dear pet, except that as you know, Cats Choose You---there is no way to explain to someone who doesn't have this very special love in their life, what he or she means to you on every level....!
I pray Bob stays confortable as long as possible and I know you will know, as you said, from him, what the next moves will be. I am so glad he is home with you now...How very dear that he was purring in his sleep...He is such a special little guy....! I send all my love and my prayers, and "Sweetie" does, too....! Hugs to you both....!

Melody said...

Thinking of you and Bob at this time. At least he knows how much you love him and feel good about the choices you have made so far...

((HUGS))

craziequeen said...

Hey baby - Bob is a legend, but even legends have to leave this mortal plane when their time here is done.

Iremember going through all this with Pandy, watching her deteriorate and making decisions on what and when.
You're right - he'll tell you. One day Pandy just looked at me and I recognised the plea.

In the meantime, enjoy your continuing life together. Lots of love and cuddles for the Bob-Man and tickles from William and Charlie.

cq

Dianne said...

Mia and Siren and the "mad cat lady" - me all send hugs to Bob and to you

You said it best - Bob will be your guide, and you will know what is best for him as you have for all these years

one of the absolute joys to me of getting older is the realization of how little what other people say or think matters

We each have our own soundtrack

rashbre said...

Bob purring in sleep knows he is loved.

Nikki-ann said...

I've had tears in my eyes reading this... I've been through this in the past and no matter what anyone says it is so hard whether they be two-legged or four-legged. Give my love to Bobkat... My two are currently curled up on the sofa (at either end) without a care in the world, but either one always knows if there's something up with the other.

I've missed the last posts so I'll catch up on them after this, but I'm glad to hear Bobkat is doing better and I know you'll cherish him and make sure he's comfortable and loved.

Sleepypete said...

You'll make Bob a very happy cat, hopefully for quite some time to come :-)

But you're right - the time will be when he lets you know. That's how it happened with Scruff and Goldie who were both having a huge amount of trouble moving around.

Niall young said...

I know exactly how you feel....I had a cat which reached 17 years old..as a family we'd invested so much love and attention on her...I'd confided and confessed to her ...and when she died we all felt a painful hole in our lives.

I'm so glad Bob is still with you...he's beautiful.

Marina said...

I hear you, and I sympathize with you. I went thru the exact same thing when I had the tough decision placed on me in regards to a stray that had come into my possession for three months. Many people could not understand why I wept or why I prayed over my decision to have her put down, and I remember the looks and the comments that were supposedly meant in good will but were nonetheless condescending.

I wish you and Bobkat well, and I hope that these days are great days, filled with memories and pleasant times. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and him...

Linda said...

It's shameful that others think they know better than you about your pet. For many, a pet is a companion, a friend. Pets do not judge you, they love you unconditionally...they are there when you need a warm body...they let you cry, rant, rail, wail...and they love you nonetheless. YOU know what you need to do, and you're letting Bob be your guide. I'm praying for longer life, ease of life and pain, and gentleness in his life, however long that is.

Gwynne said...

What a beautiful, loving tribute to your best friend. He's a beautiful cat and I hope you have a long time left together. I pray for a peaceful passing when the time comes, but I will cry with you when it does...it's so, so hard to say goodbye. *hugs*