Numb

I have a niece. She just started school last week. I was talking to her last weekend and she was looking forward to going to 'big school' and making new friends. Yes, she was wondering how it would go and she talked a lot about missing her old school too, about the teachers who were obviously fond of her and the friends she had made and who were now going elsewhere. I admired her for her certainty she would make new friends and for the way she was looking forward to this new experience despite there being scary aspects.

She also explained a million other things to me. My niece cracks me up. She is a little chatterbox. Her narrative is a constant stream of consciousness as she has not yet really learnt to filter things out and express every little thought that comes into her head. She has an idea and she is off again, full of enthusiasm for it until the next one comes along. It's funny and endearing, if a trifle exhausting at times. Then she is up and off outside dragging us with her, to show us how she can spin on the spot. She takes dance lessons you see and has not long ago passed her grading exams in modern, ballroom and Latin American dance. I have no idea where she gets her energy from.

Except now she is quiet and still as she lays in intensive care. My sister rang me late last night. She was knocked off her bicycle by a car. She isn't going to live and there is nothing anyone can do. I had to break the news to my brothers and they can't believe it either. We all want to do something but nothing we do can make this better. Her brain is going to keep swelling until it kills her and there is nothing anyone can do. How can any of this be?