I have been feeling very down lately which, if you knew me, you would realise is very unlike me. Life has taught me to roll with the punches; if you get knocked down you get back up and you keep going. As we all know, nobody ever said life was fair or easy. We know that life is a bumpy road and that sometimes it will be bumpier than other times. I feel that I have had a pretty bumpy time over the last 18 months or so. Each thing that has happened has gradually had an accumulative effect. A recent set of incidents involving a brother have been the last straw. I do not want to go into details but suffice to say that it hurt an awful lot and left me confused and taken aback. After the death of my niece and my divorce among other things, the camel's back found it's limit and now I find myself, well, very down and finding it hard to shake off.
I do feel I have turned a corner recently though. I got fed up with feeling so awful, and I got really bored with crying too much, which is definitely not like me. My head felt like it was full with a big ball of tangled wool and I have been trying to untangle it. So I have rummaged around in my psyche and dug deep and found some resolve. It is not easy, I find that my feelings are easily hurt and that I can be quite defensive at the moment. Getting my act together to do things can be difficult. But I am getting there. Anyone who doesn't know me well would never know anything is wrong, which suits me fine as sometimes you just have to get on with things. Life doesn't stop. The road stretches ahead and all we can do is hope that the road will become smoother. The picture above hangs in my house and at the moment when I look at it I am reminded of this road that we travel. Thanks to those who have been a great support to me recently, who listened and walked a part of this road with me for a time. You know who you are.