Thursday, May 24, 2007
This is just typical. I have not been feeling at all well for the past few days so I went to the doctor. I have been feeling quite fuzzy, with dizzy spells and getting frequent headaches. The doc says that I am stressed which was a bit of a surprise. Apparently I am so good at coping that I'm fine until I'm not, if that makes any sense. Oops. I am very good at bottling things up and getting on with life and supporting others but it seems that I've been neglecting myself.
The doc wanted to know what was going on in my life at the moment. As you know, I have been extremely worried about my mother but as ever it's not one thing but an accumulation over time. I have recently changed job, and also I have had a hard time with my studying after my books and work were stolen with my laptop (impacting on my essay deadline and revision for my exam). I don't write much about it but I am also getting divorced and I've been handling the separation myself.
I underwent a traumatic separation from my husband and he is pushing for a quick divorce as his girlfriend does not want him married to me anymore. I don't want to get into details but this woman has been a constant thorn in my side. Don't get me wrong, I certainly do not want to stay married to him but I needed time to assimilate all that happened before progressing. I have found it hard to cope with two things. First that I have failed at something that my life once revolved around and second that someone who I once trusted with my life could behave so awfully at times.
So, I have been thinking. I need closure so now I want the divorce quickly. I also want him to come and remove the rest of his stuff that he has left here despite constantly being asked to shift it. I also want him to stop using this postal address as I am receiving his mail. The doc said to think about things I could change to reduce the stress in my life so this would be a good place to start. I'm having a couple of days off work. My mother is doing well, all things considered and I will visit her again soon (though I will need to be driven as a fuzzy head is not best for driving). Then I am going to take charge of things and make a few changes and start looking after myself better.